So Why Don't You?

I've hinted a few times at the fact that I've become increasingly dissatisfied with work recently.

There are some things within my particular work environment that I find annoying and difficult to deal with. At the same time, I also recognize that I have a lot of perks and advantages with my current work situation that I wouldn't have someplace else. So, there are always positives and negatives in life.

I think that after you put up with the same crap over and over for years on end, it really starts to grate on you. So, even though I know that some other situation would probably have just as much negativity, if not more, at least it would be new crap to deal with instead of the same old shit.

The One will be applying to law school in the fall, and sometime in 2011 we will be moving. So, I know that there is an end in sight with my current work situation. I definitely won't try to do anything different between now and then. In all honesty, it really isn't that bad. I have it pretty easy compared to what a lot of people have to deal with. I've just been there since 2000 (except for when I left for a year and a half before returning), so I've been dealing with the same crap for quite a while now.

The question then, is what do I want to do when we move? I'm not so sure that I want to continue doing what I'm doing. I really do not dislike my job, but being in the position of dealing with people constantly can be quite trying. Especially because I am in the position where I am supposed to be solving problems for people, and it often feels like no matter what I do I just can't make some people happy. I end up feeling like I'm a one woman customer service team that spends most of my time in the complaint department.

And I'm getting rather tired of it!

I came home from work several weeks ago, and told The One that it was the best day I could remember having in several months. Almost every single patient I saw that day was a child, and I love seeing kids. I went on to say how much I loved pediatrics in optometry school, and how my intent had been to become involved in peds after I graduated.

I would have happily stayed working at the private practice I was at in Maryland for my final school internship. It was a practice that did a lot of pediatrics and vision therapy, which is a huge interest of mine. The doctor that owned the practice offered me a job, and I really wanted to take it. It was my dream job! Plus I loved living in Maryland. (Although, I'm willing to bet that by now I would be equally as fed up with the weather there as I am here.)

Unfortunately, I was married at the time and my ex-husband hated the area. I couldn't very well expect him to spend his life living some place that he despised, so we decided not to stay and I turned down the job offer. I ended up finding a job that wasn't in pediatrics or vision therapy, and here I am almost 10 years later still doing it.

As I was talking to The One, I was explaining all of this to him and saying how I wished I could see nothing but peds patients all day, every day, and how I missed being involved in vision therapy.

The One came back at me with, "So why don't you?"

I gave him a bunch of excuses about it being really hard to have a practice that sees nothing but kids since they are in school all day, and how tough it would be to find that kind of a job since it would have to be in a private practice setting and there aren't a lot of those jobs available. I'm really not interested in trying to start my own practice or buy someone else's. Blah. Blah. Blah.

But then I really started thinking about his comment.

Why don't I?

I know it would make me happier. I love working with the kids when they are in my office, and it was what I'd intending on doing when I was in school before life got in the way.

There is one place where I could actually spend my entire day with pediatric patients, all day, every day.

That place is in an optometry school.

I had visited that idea a while ago and rejected it at the time because it would be rather involved to be able to get hired at a school. However, at the time I wasn't thinking about trying to go into pediatrics at the school, just about getting back into the academic world in general. The idea of getting involved in something that I've always wanted to do is making me reconsider the option.

There are tons of details to consider, but the most important one is that there are a whopping 16 optometry schools in the country, and most of them are in states that I do not want to live in. Before I'm willing to commit to a career change, I want to see the areas where the schools are located. There is no point trying to change career paths if I ultimately don't want to live any place where I could work. One of the schools I'd be interested in is in Houston, Texas. The other two are in California, in Fullerton and Berkeley specifically. There is one near Portland, Oregon, which is where my mom's sister lives. She said I should consider that as well, but I feel like it would probably rain too much there for my liking.

I'm really babbling, aren't I? Anyway...

The point to all of this is that I have some major decisions ahead of me about my future. For now, the first step is to check out the areas where the schools are located. I'm fairly certain that The One and I will be heading out to Houston in February to check out the area and see the optometry school and law schools. Then hopefully we will be able to make it to California in the spring to check those areas out.

I'm excited at the prospect of a change, even if all I end up doing is getting the same type of job in a new (WARMER) state. Although, I must admit everything that must be thought about and accomplished between now and then is extremely overwhelming!